The Cutest Dog In the World

Happy Monday :)

Book Review: The Get Your Man to Marry You Plan-Buying The Cow in the Age of Free Milk

Bonjour!

It's been a while since I have reviewed a book, so I decided to write one up on this lovely Sunday evening.

As most of you know, most of the books I tend to read are "How To" type books, or self-help/improvement. I like to read books that will arm me with knowledge that I can use to enhance or enrich my life. Most of the time the books I get are just random finds from the library, I seldomly seek out the books I read.

Anyways, a couple weeks ago while I was in Pittsburgh, I came across this book at a warehouse store, and for $3.oo, I just had to get it. Just for kicks! (As most of you know I have been in a relationship for 5.5 years, so I thought it would be interesting to see what this chick had to say!)

The book, written by Lori Uscher-Pines, highlights a lot of important notes about marriage and relationships in general. She begins the book by examining the modern day woman, and questioning the argument about a woman proposing marriage instead of the man. Before reading this book, I admit that I thought it silly to even think of a woman proposing to a man, but after reading Uscher-Pines' first chapter about women empowerment, I thought differently.

She observes that, while women may appear to be anti-feminist by wanting to settle down, those women who want to get married to the guy of their dreams are anything but! They are independent women who know what they want, so why is it so wrong to go after and ask for what they want and deserve? That sounds pretty logical right? I agree, that a woman shouldn't be forced to wait until the man decides he wants to get married, why can't a woman bring up the idea first? In regards to an official proposal with a ring and parent permission, Uscher-Pines explains that most men would prefer to get down on one knee the good old fashioned way, however there are some men who wouldn't mind a woman to take charge and do the official proposal.

After the first empowering chapter, the book is divided into sections of "excuses" that boyfriends will give their girlfriends about marriage, like having no money or having a need to "sew some oats". With each excuse, she labels them as either a "you" or "me" excuse, explaining if the problem has something to do with you or him. Each problem she gives a list of tactics to use when discussing the topic of marriage. E.g. "You care too much what your family thinks," would be a "you" excuse, meaning he still sees you as immature and not ready for marriage. Whereas a

"I am too focused on my career right now," would be a "me" excuse. Makes sense? Right! Moving right along...

For most women, they will use only parts of this book and hone in on the areas and excuses that apply to their man. There are even real-life examples used throughout the chapters. There was one story that made me chuckle. A couple in their late 20's who met back in college went on a mini-break before getting hitched. In college, the man was never very popular and wasn't smooth with the ladies, once his career had started and he grew out of his ugly duckling phase, he noticed more women paying attention to him and felt he owed it to himself to explore his options. The girlfriend, of course devastated, felt he needed to get this out of his system, but gave him the space he needed without saying a word. While it killed her inside to let him be free, she had to let him go temporarily until he realized how good he had it. Four months later, he came back, ring in hand and ready to settle down. He was a changed man. And all it took was a little break to see that what he really wanted and needed was with him all along.

Near the end of the book there is also a chapter called "Fouls". Meaning, bizzare acts that women wanting to get married should stay away from. Including, pretending to be engaged, being mean and resentful, withholding sex and a slew of others. Uscher-Pines brings up a good point: Men will be more inclined to propose if they think it is their idea. If a woman pushes her man into the idea, he will be more inclined to do the exact opposite. He would prefer to do on his own terms and feel that he came to the decision on his own. (With your subtle hints of course).

Depending on how long you have been with your man, or how much longer you can wait for that ring. The last chapter gives women the ultimate test, after all the tactics have been laid out, you should be either engaged or newly single. The point is, every man is different, and with this book Uscher-Pines gives different approaches for different personalities. Once the tactics have been used on your man, you should have a good idea of what he thinks of marriage and if you will be heading down the altar soon.

After reading this book, I felt I gained a little bit more insight on the "excuses" men give to their ladies. However, I don't think this book could be taken literally word for word without actually knowing the couple being dealt with. While books are good at the generalities of relationships, there is no way to know the exact thoughts of your man, because every guy is different and every relationship is different and while the book can be used as a good guideline to getting you down the altar, I wouldn't use it as a bible. But definately worth a read! I know I had my highlighter out as I read :)

Last month of condo living...

I can't believe we are in June already. I guess because the weather has been rather chilly and non seasonal, it makes it feel more like April these days! But it's supposed to warm up this week!
So this is my last month of living the glorious city life. No more short commute to work, no more walks to the library or grocery store, no more elevators, no more guest parking passes and no more coming home to my best friend :( Yes, it's going to be sad, I may even cry a little!
However, it's been a fun year and we have had some great times in the condo. A lot of memories were made here.
The city has been good to us. It is very convenient to live so close to everything, however I don't think long term city living is for me! There are just too many people and not enough space. I don't particularly like fighting for a seat on the subway every morning, dodging cars when crossing the street or waiting hours to get a table at a restaurant on a Friday night after work. But people born in the city are used to these types of things, where as I am not. But to each his own, right?

So I am slowly starting to pack things away for the big move out and I have come across heaps of clothes and knick knacks that I need to get rid of. I decided that I am going to have a garage sale in mid July. It will be just for fun and to make a couple bucks! Hopefully my junk can find a place in someone else's home. Stay tuned for further details!!